An Artist's Journey Through Sin: Learning to Forgive Oneself

Something interesting that I noticed while reading Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man was how huge of a role confession played in the book. Stephen must confess his sins to the priest and is given a penance to help redeem himself. Despite this, he constantly struggles with finding it within himself to forgive his own actions. This is an interesting twist on my Big Question. Stephen denies his senses as a means of his own personal penance (Chapter 4), constantly telling himself that he is horrible and always reflecting back to the sermon on hell (Chapter 3). He considers becoming a priest himself, but he cannot imagine having to listen to other people confess their own sins to him.

It isn't until he truly finds himself that he can forgive himself for his actions. Once he realizes how much his experiences shape him and his art, he realizes that what he did may have been wrong, but it was actually the right thing for him to do. He is able to forgive himself for his actions and fully understand how he needs experiences to write, to become a poet. This whole thing contributes to his journey as an artist, and in turn, his heroic journey.

Joyce's novel has added an interesting new facet to my Big Question. I think it is interesting how Stephen does not long for the forgiveness of others, but rather forgiveness from himself. I think forgiving oneself is the hardest because you know every aspect and it is an interal battle that you experience. Stephen becomes a stronger man and artist for enduring it.